Look Again: Anxiety And The Open Door

What if anxiety isn't only making you worry about what could go wrong—but also keeping you from recognizing what is already going right?

In this episode of One Degree to Victory, Dr. Hollis explores what happens when anxiety constricts our perception during seasons of uncertainty and change.

Through the story of buying a car during a major life transition, she examines the tension between uncertainty and possibility—and what becomes available when we stop giving uncertainty the entire moment.

The anxiety may be real. The unanswered questions may be real. But possibility is real, too.

Sometimes the door is already open.

The question is whether we can look again—and move.

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One Degree to Victory is the podcast of the NM Hollis Institute, where we explore the science and practice of building human capacity. Through practical frameworks, meaningful reflection, and real-life stories, each episode helps you think more clearly, respond more intentionally, and move forward one degree at a time. 

Until next time, Constant Listener, I love ya'll. 💙
 

Transcript

Anxiety Is Real But Not Ruling

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Constant listener, let's talk about anxiety. Now I want to be careful here with this topic because anxiety is real. For some people, it is persistent, debilitating, and requires professional care. But every anxious moment is not a diagnosis, and every feeling of anxiety is not an instruction to stop. Sometimes anxiety is present because we are standing in front of something uncertain, unfamiliar, and outside of our control. That feeling is real, but it doesn't have to own the moment. Anxiety will have us looking so hard for what could go wrong, actually focused so hard on what could go wrong that we cannot recognize what is already going right.

Missing The New Thing Through Fear

SPEAKER_00 1:08

It was during my morning meditation when I reread a familiar scripture in a different light. And Isaiah God says, I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? And right then I had an illuminating thought. How many new things have I missed because my perception was skewed when I was looking through the wasp's glens? How many opportunities went unanswered? How many doors had I turned my back on because I couldn't perceive the new thing? Because the anxiety interpreted the new thing as threatening, the uncomfortable as a as unapproachable, and the circumstances as unwinnable. I don't know the answer to that question, but but but but but but I can tell you a time when I did move despite the wasps.

The Car Purchase And The Wasps

SPEAKER_00 2:07

You see, there are occasions when the promise of the new thing is greater than the fearful threat of comfort. Recently I bought a new to me car, and I bought this car knowing full well I would be leaving my job within the next two months. Now I'm not advocating for anyone to follow this path and make unsound financial decisions. This is the new thing that God did in my life. About a week before I bought this car, I didn't have the slightest desire to get a new car. I didn't have a car note, and I hadn't the slightest notion to want one. And although the car I'd semi-inherited had some issues, it got us from point A to point B. And it wasn't a bucket, it was a tank, a gray older model Buickless Saber. It had been my uncle's car, and now it was mine. And we loved that car. It was big and warm and soft like my uncle. But I saw an advertisement one day: massive car sale, great deals, no money down, you know, the your job is your credit hype. Now I needed this since I was rebuilding and restructuring my life. And I'm not one for this type of hype, but this was a new thing that had presented itself and a new feeling. And I found myself responding. Do you know a sales rep responded right back, probably a robo rep, but nevertheless, there was there was an immediate response, right? What are you looking for? The message asked. I responded, something fuel efficient and comfortable for a teen and a preteen because we travel a lot. This conversation happened about a week before the actual purchase. Let's set up a time. Okay, I said. Now, mind you, I hadn't purchased a new car for myself in over a decade. My husband bought my last car. So between that conversation and the Saturday of the purchase, the wasps were buzzing so loudly that right up until that Saturday morning and even beyond, I had the opportunity to worry. I had to fend off the wasps. So that Saturday comes and I tell the kids, and I almost didn't go because of the wasps, right? But that Saturday comes and I tell the kids they can't go with me. I have some business to take care of. Well, I got to the car lot, and long story short, very long story short, my salesman has two cars ready for me. I test drove one, decided this was it, and drove home and surprised the kids. A completely, completely new thing. And oh, the wasps were yet there every step, but the vision of the new thing was clearer than the cacophonous buzz of the wasps.

When Safe Feels Like Settling

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Constant listeners, sometimes the door is already opened and the picture has already been painted, and we're just sitting there, and because we are too afraid to move, because the anxiety has silenced the wonder of the present. Now, sister girl, how many opportunities have you missed? Because you expected God to move the way he moved before, or you expected him to move differently, to move within the boundaries of your comfort? Uh-oh. Do you ever say to yourself, this step feels safer? See, I could have said, okay, I know I'm gonna quit this, I know I'm leaving my job, I'm not going to take on this burden of the car note. This car that we have is fine. How many times have you ever said to yourself, this step feels safer instead of leaning into something new? Have you settled instead of working toward the vision for your life? Do you have a vision for your life? I wonder how many paths we've left untraveled because they looked unfamiliar or because we couldn't see the ending, or to bring it closer to home. How many times have we set aside our vision? How many school enrollment seasons did we left pass? How many job applications did we leave on the table? How many times have we turned our back to the open door because the wonder of the new thing was perceived to be too risky? That's what anxiety does. It hijacks your capacity to respond, to move, to flow, to be captivated, not by the fear, but by the wonder of the present and the new thing that is before you. The safe thing for me was to wait. I was compelled to go. I wanted to see what was possible for me at this car sales event. I didn't expect to drive off the lot the same day. I didn't expect to have the best conversation with the salesman during the test drive. I didn't expect a lot of things that day. I didn't even expect to be buying a car.

Turning What Ifs Into Possibility

SPEAKER_00 7:55

If our interpretation is filtered through fear, worry, old expectations, or a need for control, those are the wasps, we may begin to perceive the opportunities before us, what scripture calls away in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland as threats to our safety and well-being. What if I had viewed that new car through the lens of worry? Just one of the wasps. Oh, I had plenty to worry about. I could have worried where I was going to get another job to pay that car note. I could have worried that they wouldn't have the right car when I got there. I could have worried that they wouldn't take the trade in. I could have worried that I was driving all the way for nothing. I could have worried myself right out of going. But I didn't. There was something on the other side of all those what ifs that had my attention. I was excited about the possibility. I was anticipating the new thing more than I was rehearsing everything that could go wrong. And let me tell you why that matters, because the circumstances in either one of those perspectives never changed. The car note was still going to be there. They still could have said no to the trade-in. I still could have gotten there, and they still could have said you're not qualified. The uncertainty was real. I got to experience the wonder of that day. I turned uncertainty and anxiety on its head. And uncertainty on its head is the promise of possibility. And I love my little car, even though, in all honesty, it's more my son's car than it is mine. Constant listener, do you know what got me through that entire car buying process? The excitement of my kids when I pulled into the driveway with a new car. Do you know the realization of that moment was more precious to me than the fear of uncertainty? That moment was more than a new car. It was the signal that we were stabilizing. It was their beacon of hope that mom hadn't given up, that I was still climbing, that I was still nurturing and actively pursuing the vision we held for our family.

Widen The Picture And Move

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Sister girl, what is at stake in your life? Grab a mental picture of it, but don't hold it there. Move toward it. When anxiety starts telling you everything that could go wrong, I want you to widen the picture. What else is there? What are you building? Who are you becoming? Who else is affected if you keep moving? Who gets hurt if you stagnate? What might be waiting for you on the other side of this uncertainty? That day the uncertainty was real, but so was the possibility. And I had to decide which one was going to have more of my attention. So when anxiety begins to constrict your view and your movements and your flow, don't ask yourself to pretend that you're not anxious. Look again. Find the new thing. Give yourself something beyond the uncertainty to move toward. Maybe it's finishing school, maybe it's walking into that interview, maybe it's getting your family somewhere stable. Maybe it's finally submitting the application. Whatever it is, constant listener, get a picture of what that movement makes possible. Anxiety may be present, but it does not have to own the moment.

Breadcrumbs Forward And Closing

SPEAKER_00 11:50

There have been many things in my life since the car. I like to think of them as breadcrumbs leading up to the big reveal. But just for today, don't let anything make you turn back because you can't see what the wheel is. Look for the wind in the woman. Look for the train in the wind. Oh my god, Mr. Girl, and when you see it, three months one Dr. Holland's thank you for chilling. Until next time.