Selfie Sunday with Sue McCreadie:Why Aligning Your Head and Heart Is the First Step Toward Healing

This week on One Degree to Victory, I sit down with transformation guide Sue McCreadie for a heartfelt conversation about healing, identity shifts, and the courage it takes to create new iterations of ourselves. Together, we explore the power of aligning head and heart, the healing role of perspective shifts, and the importance of asking better questions on our journey forward.

From the “six human needs” framework to the simple yet powerful question What would love do?, this episode is packed with insights that will move you, encourage you, and remind you that healing and growth are possible, even after deep pain.

If you’re navigating a season of heartbreak, transition, or self-reinvention, this conversation will spark hope and help you take that one degree forward.

Connect with Dr. Sue here:👇🏽 

 https://www.drsuemccreadie.com/soulfull-medicine-quiz-abundant

The Midlife Personality Quiz: Uncover your greatest gift, biggest growth opportunity, and 8 personalized ideas to joy as a midlife woman. It's 100% free – and you get closer to your most soulful life in just 11 questions!

 ✨ Bonus for You: I’ve added my original track Golden Hour (created with the Suno App) to set the mood for this conversation. Take a listen—it’s the perfect vibe for reflection and renewal.  🎧🎶Golden Hour

Chapters

• 0:08 Finding Your True North
• 5:12 Integration of Mind and Heart
• 10:45 The Six Human Needs
• 17:40 Perspective Shifts After Trauma
• 25:56 What Would Love Do?
• 32:23 Creating Space for Inner Wisdom
• 39:24 Our Children Witness Our Growth

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:08

It's Dopey Sunday on the One Degree to Victory podcast. You know, years ago, I heard a story, and I saw myself in that story. And that story became the cabalist for my drama because that today's conversation becomes that same catalyst for you. I guess conversation today is a transformation guide who helps women navigate this with the formal heartbreak feeling and identity. We open our conversation with light and laughter that continues throughout the episode. Join me in conversation with I'm noticing your what do we call that logo is like true north.

SPEAKER_01: 0:57

Is that like true north? It's like pointing to your true north.

SPEAKER_03: 1:00

It's I that might be something that you can discuss. I it was I thought about one degree to victory, and I was compass. Yes. And I was like, the idea was being in this midpoint of life and transition. And when I was thinking about how to represent that logo, how to represent that woman that's in transition, that's looking for the healing path in this space that she's in, specifically talking about like coming from a traumatic event or serious adverse circumstances. It doesn't matter the way you go, the direction, as long as you go, whatever degree that is, whether it's north, south, east, or west, north, east, you know, whatever it is, whichever direction it is, the goal is to move in that direction. One degree. Like just wherever that your experiences and your circumstances and your journey takes you, there's so many ways for us to heal and to move about in this world. Yeah. And to be the bum. Yeah, kind of like through your healing, kind of like, you know, with with all of your different healing practices.

SPEAKER_01: 2:29

There is Yeah, that's like a beautiful one. We can talk about that because it represents you too.

SPEAKER_03: 2:34

And what you're up to. So let's do that. Okay, cool. There's a there's that thread of healing that um that I think is throughout the journey, no matter what it, no matter what it looks like. You you know, you're walking and you're so and actually we're recording. I probably will use this. Yes, we are. So that was a perfect beginning question. So, you know, as we're walking through these journeys and so are we beginning? Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's begin. All right. So Sue, welcome. Thank you, Nelia. They're gonna be like, what in the world? As we're walking through our healing journeys, we begin to take those steps forward. Um, from our losses, from mistakes, from betrayals, whatever happens to us as women. How important is it to follow your intuition, uh, follow your follow your mind and your heart toward um healing and specifically transformation when you know that that's what's needed, but you don't know necessarily which direction to travel.

SPEAKER_01: 4:04

I love that question, especially because you included mind and heart. And I think that's where I meet so many women on this journey because their mind is like going this way, and their heart is like, let's go this way. So it's sort of like trying to rein two horses that are like pulling in opposite directions, and so you end up often getting kind of like stuck, right? Kind of not moving anywhere. You're in this stuck space. And one of the things that I really work to do is often it's about integration. So, how can we align the head and the heart together? Because when they're aligned and integrated, then they can move forward. So, what that might look like in kind of the example that you gave in terms of trauma, right? And um is that you know, having is is basically changing the perspective, changing the perspective of the trauma. I can just speak from my own experience, is that for example, one of the most traumatic events in my life is multiple miscarriages. I had three before my first and a second trimester loss between my first and my second. And I um it was those three before the first where I was just like flat out, right? And when I'm able to like work through and change the perspective, you know, then I can see, and often that perspective doesn't come until years later, right? That's the whole thing. We're like hurrying on up, you know, while you're going through the process, it looks like anger, it looks like grief, resentment, disappointment, frustration. It looks like a lot of different things depending on the situation. Sometimes it can just look like freeze, right? Like one of the stress responses is I'm just frozen, right? Um, and so it's through that evolution, I feel like a lot of what I help women do is change their perspective so they can move forward with a new procedure, meaning like we change the way we see the situation and then therefore change what we do and say moving forward.

SPEAKER_04: 6:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 6:34

Um, it kind of unlocks it. If we're and and that also, it's not only trauma that others maybe have inflicted or put upon us, right? It may be our own internal self-betrayal, our own internal self-sabotage, our own internal self-loathing. Like I was in it just yesterday, like self-loathing, like just hating myself for who I am, right? And then why? Because it's usually like our greatest gifts, right? Are also our biggest obstacles. And so when we can integrate both sides, like yesterday I was integrating, like I'm a dreamer, I'm, you know, this is my sixth entrepreneurial business. I've been around the block, you know? And part of me is like, why? Why couldn't I just follow like the traditional medical path? This is so painful, you know. Like, of course, there's moments of joy. Absolutely. I love working with women, I love writing blogs, I love group coaching, you know, when I'm doing all things, and also, as you know, running in a business, not everything feels sparkly and great. Absolutely. Right. And so it's just like self-loathing for who I am, and also though, like learning once I'm able to integrate that, like, yeah, that can be a downfall of a dreamer. That can be that can be like, you know, hard. And also, though, that's what makes you you, Sue. That's what makes you beautiful. That's why people love you, you know, because you're sparkly and fun and you're inspirational and you're dreamy, you know?

SPEAKER_04: 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:27

So love, learn to love that part of yourself, you know, the parts that make it fun, and also like the not so great parts, right? And so once you're able to like really integrate that and how you integrate that, we can talk about all the different healing modalities, right? It's like how you integrate that, then you can start to like, I feel like what it is, is like you just like pick yourself back up and you're like, okay, next step. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03: 8:54

Very matter-of-factly. That I think that that comes, like you said, once we begin that process, change that perspective, learn how to integrate, then it is very matter-of-factly. I I get a lot, a lot of questions, you know, about my move to a different part of the country, very different culture and modalities of being. And they ask, Do you like it here? How do you feel? And I said, It's not, it's growing where you are. It's growing where you wake up and you find yourself after the trauma, and you say, This is where I am, after the anger and the grief, and trying to bury it and becoming unfrozen and unstuck. Like, no, I'm going to have to get sticky for happiness. I'm going to have to find the stickiness for love. I want to be frozen in the space of moving towards my dream. That's how I lifted myself. Like, I'm here. The circumstances have put me in this place and I'm here. And I was in that same position yesterday. I don't know, it must have been the moon because I was like, oh, you taught for 20 years and you know you can go back. And I'm gonna double back a bit, but I want to talk about that moment for a moment when you know that the clear path is this new iteration of yourself, and you know you're capable and you have the skills. And the poem came to me yesterday, a dream deferred. It will crush you. Your entrepreneurial journey, your journey of self-discovery, because I want the comfort and the familiarity, just like you and the nutrition. Like, you know that I know I know teaching, I've done it, but it's not the place where you find fulfillment anymore. Like I know how to do that, it's almost automatic. Go in, make a lesson, teach, do the groups, very social constructivist type of teacher. And I would find like happiness. I would, yes, my kids are doing it. Woo-hoo! But I would be fulfilled. So let's talk about that. That's that and break that. That's a yeah, and that's a perspective shift. How what is going on in our minds when we change?

SPEAKER_01: 11:28

Yes. Oh, I love this. This is like so good. Oof, yes, because often during the middle adulthood, which is the space that I work in, 40s, 50s, 60, 65-ish, you know, we're in this transition, right? And what used to make us happy and fulfilled all of a sudden shifts, and like we're like, what's up? Like that feels kind of like dead now, you know? And that can happen not only, like you're speaking to it in a career, like what you what you've done for a career, right? And by the way, you're teaching, you're just teaching in a different way, right? Um, you know, uh, or it can be in relationships, like one relationship ending, you know, divorce happens, death happens, you know. Um, so it can happen in relationships even with kids, right? Um, and also, you know, so identity, relationships, health. Like, what about health, right? Sometimes we can be hit with, you know, a devastating disease that's really throwing us off in balance. So, what you're speaking to, what I hear you speaking to, it's like, what's the what's the difference with fulfillment? What are things that make me feel fulfilled in general? And I learned this principle from Tony Robbins. The the art of fulfillment comes from growth. It's a place where you're growing and you're contributing. So you're growing yourself, and then you turn around and you give it to somebody else. So now let's take so this breaks down. There's actually six human needs that we all share.

unknown: 13:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 13:18

And we all share them, we all prioritize them in different order and we fulfill them in different ways. So let's just take the example of your teaching, right? And and traditionally, how you were teaching, right? I'm guessing at some point it met your need for certainty, which is I'm comfortable here. This feels good. I'm feeling more pleasure than pain. Right? Yes. And especially at the very beginning of teaching, you probably felt a ton of variety. Like, what the hey is going to be thrown at you today? You're just not sure, right? Special education, yes. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like, yes, thank you so much for all you've given to special education, truly. The third need, so there's certainty, there's variety. The third need is significance. And I bet with time, like you really felt like I'm seen here, I'm needed here, right? And then the amount of love and connection you feel with those kids, right, is still very high there, I'm sure, right?

SPEAKER_04: 14:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 14:25

And so then in the beginning and somewhere around, you kept evolving, you kept growing. And you're like, this is great. And you knew you're contributing. No doubt you're contributing as a teacher, right? So it was it was meeting at least, you know, three or more of your needs at a very high level.

SPEAKER_04: 14:43

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 14:43

And that's where you feel very fulfilled, where you're meeting your needs at a high level, and you're especially those needs for growth and contribution. What happens with evolution? It could be in a relationship, it could be in health, it could be, you know, in in uh in a career. At some point, something shifts, something's changing, right? And this is part of your evolution, your hero's journey, right? Of learning, of learning what your souls here. I say sculpting our souls. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it comes in fascinating, hard packages, okay, which you've experienced unbelievably so, you know, and I think you're such a testament to the fact of like, I'm here to shine. Like this sucks, and also I'm gonna grow through it so I can shine and I can turn around and contribute, right? I'm willing to grow because I'm gonna turn around and contribute that, right? So that's really the key to fulfillment. And you can do that with anything, and you can shift it too, which is great. Because, like, take for instance, cooking. Like, I don't like cooking. It does not meet my eye needs at a high level in any department. Okay. And and though the the the fun way to play with that is that I know that that cooking healthy food is good for me. It's good for my family, it's good for the greater good to to you know, eat um healthy whole foods, you know, is good for the planet. I feel that's my that's my belief. And so I I decided I'm gonna play with these needs, okay? Since I since this is something I get to do, you know, um, how can I play with these needs and help myself fulfill them at a bigger level? So one of the things that I did, because I love growth, like growth is one of my top two needs. What are your top two needs in those? Certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth, and contribution. Like, where do you think in your season of life right now, which if you had to guess, not when you want them to be, right? But what does your current life really represent to you? Do you think right now, Lita?

SPEAKER_03: 16:57

Contribution, I think, is really high. I want, like it's it's similar to I was like, why are you podcasting? This is not even and I'm like, because someone needs someone needs to be uplifted the way I was. I heard a voice who snapped me out of my phone.

SPEAKER_01: 17:22

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03: 17:23

One and one word, it was just a small story in a larger presentation. And this one story at the very end of this presentation snapped me out of suicidal ideations, and I was like, oh my gosh, life shift in perspective. It was a shift, and it was through a story, and it was from years ago that someone had filmed themselves. I'll tell Dr. Ivy Hilliard filmed themselves, and I happened to find this presentation. I I don't know if he called them sermons, it was during like a conference. And at the end of the story was this woman who was a high achiever, had done great things, had family, had friends, great, done great in her career, and she was standing on a ledge. Now I'm paraphrasing the story here. She was standing on a ledge, getting ready to jump, and they'd called different people in to speak to her. And this pastor came in and was asking her questions, much like you're doing, Sue. And she said, you know, at the end of his question, she said, you know what? Life has been good. And at the moment, at that moment that I heard that story, I was driving diesels. I had cheating.

SPEAKER_04: 18:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 18:44

I had lost my husband, my dad, my job, my home. So this was a new job. And I was in the truck and I heard that sermon, that the end of that it wasn't a sermon, let me take that back. It was his presentation, and it was a story at the end of that. And I started bawling. I had to pull the truck over. And at that very moment, that gave me the strength. Roll forward. And I it wasn't even the strength, it was the perspective shift. And with that perspective of my life happened, I was able to find this new iteration, this podcaster, this new iteration of teaching. I'll say it because you're right, I am still teaching. I'm doing it in a different way. I'm not in the form world, so to speak. And I understand that. And, but I can't, you know, it's giving. It is saying, I need someone, I need to be the voice. If it's just one person, I need to be the voice for that one person. What if I'm the voice that they hear and they're on the cusp of giving up? And for me, it's it's contribution to the ladies who are in this space that I was and need a voice. And also as a conduit for others to share their stories. Um, and that's when I started interviewing because I said, well, there are other stories out there. And I want the ladies who have the voice and maybe don't want a podcast or who have written the book or have traveled a different journey to be able to share their stories, also. And so it really is.

SPEAKER_01: 20:24

That's the major goal for me right now is that's so beautiful because that's another. There's a couple things that came up with what you're sharing. The the person speaking with that woman was asking questions.

SPEAKER_04: 20:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 20:40

And so that's a big thing about questions. Before we have any thought, there's a question. Whether it's conscious or or subconscious, right? There's a question that we're answering. And often we're asking very shitty questions. Yeah. Like, why why is this happening to me? Why does this always happen to me? What's wrong with me? How come this, you know, right? So we're we're we're asking very like for lack of better words, I'm just saying shitty questions. And so we oft that often puts us in a shitty state, right? Like we just feel bad. Like we're just stacking crap on top of crap. We're just like layering literally like junk all on top of ourselves. And then from that state, how on earth are we gonna take a great next step? We are not, we're not gonna come up with a great strategy of a one, two, three of the best next step to take. And that's why, to me, like working with a coach really helps you ask better questions so you can be in a better state, like shift your perspective, like you just shared, come up with a better story. Like you've come up with a way better, empowering story. And from there, you're gonna create a better strategy. You're gonna be like the one, two, three. First thing is, I'm gonna start a podcast. Other people need to hear this. That's a great strategy. Then you're gonna figure out how do I start the podcast, you know? And so that's a lot of what coaching is. It's just asking better questions. You know, you already have the answer within. The answer is in there. It's just about like what you're gonna say, like what unlocks it. And that's such a beautiful thing because story is a big part of coaching. Often when I'm coaching, I'm sharing story, right? Either about other women, my my own journey, right? Because story, we get mesmerized, we get locked into the story, and we can start separating ourselves, like, oh, it's just that character, oh, it's that person, oh, it's out there, right? Enough to all of a sudden, like kind of disassociate ourselves from it, enough to say, oh my gosh, that is me, and then like lock into it, right? So stories are so healing. That's why, you know, we love to read books and we love, you know, we love to watch movies because it's all the hero's journey, you know, and so that shift in story, really, you know, state and story and strategy, it's like, yeah, very, very powerful. So I wanted to share those two things. And then just to come full circle so we don't miss what we started out with, which is the six human needs.

SPEAKER_03: 23:24

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 23:24

I do want to say the power of you can, if it's something that you get to do, as I like to say, it's good for you, it's good for others, it's good for the greater good, right? And it's aligned, right? So I just shared my thing with cooking. Um, so there's ways to solve that in terms of the six human needs. And one of the you what you do is you look for ways to meet your needs at a higher level in that. So one of the things I did just see I'm I my top two needs are at this point are love and connection and growth. And so what I brought in was my daughter. Uh, this was during COVID, and she became my sous chef. Like she was in there with me. She loves music. So she started putting music on. All of a sudden, we had a lot of variety. We used meal plans, like we use one of those kind of um meal delivery kits, right? So like we had variety every week until we didn't, and that's why we stopped meal kits, but but we we you know, we so I looked to ways to increase those needs so then cooking um felt good instead of not great, if that makes sense. Yes.

SPEAKER_03: 24:42

I have a question that's going around in my head. How do you know which questions as a coach is the right question to ask yourself, especially if someone doesn't have access to a coach or maybe afford it? How do you know which is the right question? I I know that seven layers of why I think I heard Dean Dean Grassian.

SPEAKER_01: 25:17

Yes, I love that. I love that. I I I use that as a tool sometimes, such a great tool.

SPEAKER_03: 25:24

It is a great tool, and I use that also. How as an individual would you suggest someone go until they can you know afford it or get into the pathway of coaching? How what are the questions that you would say?

SPEAKER_01: 25:42

Ask yourself these questions instead of dumping, instead of dumping yourself, instead of saying so one of the one of the things that we know even through science and research is that gratitude works. Absolutely. This is a conversation, yes, okay. So one of the ways to a question that can get you into gratitude is what is great about this? What is great about this? Yes, and you may really struggle to come up with it, but keep asking the question because there is a lot of stuff not going right, right? Like how just your pre your story is perfect. Yes, there was so much not going right, like I can feel it, it's just overwhelming. And if you just focus on that, you're gonna feel just that. This is also going on. So what's great about this is, and I don't know, you could probably riff off on your hand, you know, what was great in that moment. And if you focus on that, you're going to feel great.

SPEAKER_03: 27:15

And do you know what I found when I didn't necessarily ask it in that in that case, but it was, you know, gratitude. And what I found when I began to practice uh gratitude intentionally was that I began to seek to design, I should say, um great moments. So I found great, I, you know, and a lot of my healing journey, I was on the truck. I was had my CDLs and going across country. I needed space to think. And I want to double back on talking about how how important is it to have some alone time, especially when you're going through. But I remember being at a truck stop and it was early. And I know I, you know, the ladies, God bless them, that work at those truck stops that have to deal with these gentlemen and we're on time schedules and this, that, and the third. And sometimes things get, and they were really slammed, and they were older and they were doing the best they could. It was just two of them. And I went up to them, I said, How y'all doing today? You know, just ask them, they're like, Oh my gosh, thank you. They started smiling like, come back anytime. We hope you come back through, you know, and so I intentionally set out to have great moments so that I can have more to be thankful for. Like, thank you, thank you that I left a smile on that, on those ladies' face. And and that they get, you know, they gave me free coffee. But yeah, when I left, I walked into a situation that was, oh my God, like why are we being so like so rude? This is we need to find patience. This is a whole nother top box, but for the things that we do that are not necessarily fulfilling, you know, we need just like you said, we need to find these different routines or these different strategies. And so that's my strategy is to literally infuse these toxic moments that I walk into with joy and gratitude. And so as I look back from that point, from the point of the trauma to, you know, even now, there are days that I can remember when, man, that was a tough situation. But I'm glad I left them feeling better. Like I'm glad I gave. And the more you give, the more you practice that gratitude. For me, I get so much fulfillment out of that. Like, and I can go about my day. It feels like an aha moment when my students get like an A, or they, you know, they leveled up uh two grade levels in their reading. Like for me, just leaving a smile on someone's face, thank you, Lord, that I was able to do that even in the middle of my pain. Like They didn't know what was going on in my life. But I'm I was so thankful that I was able to find a way to harness the joy and to give it.

SPEAKER_01: 30:10

Here through that story, what I hear is you did what love would do. And that is the other question I love to ask. What would love do? Sometimes love would say, How y'all doing today?

unknown: 30:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 30:33

Sometimes love would lay down a boundary. That was not okay. Sometimes love would go sit out in the grass and look up at the sky and the clouds and just breathe.

SPEAKER_04: 30:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 30:45

Right? So the reason I love that question is because our natural state is loving. And that's why we feel so awful when we go through these other very important emotions to go through, like frustration and anger, and resentment and greed and envy and sadness and grief. And they're all very important. You know, it's just that we don't like to stay there because our natural state is loving. And so when you ask that question, what would love do? It's like you're activating the lover within you. You're activating that part of you would be like, Yeah, what would love do? Because you know what? You know the answer. You already know the answer. And so many times when I do this with women, they're like, Don't say it, don't say it. So I know you're gonna say it. I'm like, what would love do? And they're like, they get the eye roll. Oh yeah, they're like, love would forgive. I'm like, Yeah, love would forgive. Love would forgive in some situation, right? Like, yeah, love would forgive. Like so it just all like comes up to the it kind of just bubbles to the surface. Like you just automatically know what to do. Like you have the answer as soon as you ask the empowering question, what would love do? Love would forgive, love would go for a run, love would take a nap, love would eat some food before I made this decision. You know, like it's just always like looking, you know, to activate that part of you that already knows. That already knows, and that love is inside of us already. Already, you already have the answer. Yeah, absolutely. You already have the answer, which is another part that you were alluding to is like the importance of quiet time, I think was your next. Yes, yeah, and how to allow intuition, you know, to to lead. Yes, and my experience is that space is required in order to hear that inner voice in order to know truly, like we need kind of space in order for grace to step in, in essence. And so there's lots of ways that you can create that, and even if you're a super busy person, a lot of my intuitive hits come in the shower a lot because water is just like funny.

SPEAKER_03: 33:18

It's something so soothing when the water is like pouring mine too.

SPEAKER_01: 33:23

You know where else? Driving, long drives, because what's happening is you're in an automatic state, and so it allows your subconscious. So you're not having to use your conscious brain to be like turn right here, turn left there, go straight there, or you're not having to use your conscious brain to be like, first I put on shampoo, then I put on conditioner. It's like it's done it thousands of times, so it's just gonna do it, you know? And so you could do it, you know. So you can do it in the shower, take a long drive, and you can also just like stare at a candle, stare at a flower, you know. I love meditation is a great way to do it. There's countless ways to activate your subconscious, and the important part of activating the subconscious, the part of you that's below this thinking brain, wherever it is, like who knows where it all is, you know. But the part of you that's hidden, the part of you that already knows. We call that the subconscious. And in personal development, it the you know, it's that subconscious that if you don't like your current behaviors or your habits or your actions or your results, it's not up here. The root of it is in your subconscious patterns. So you could say all day long, like, look at the apple. I should eat the apple rather than the cookie. Like, you know what healthy is. Yes, you know healthy food versus non-healthy food. And yet, why do you choose the cookie every single time? It's meeting one of your needs for sure, like those six human needs, probably at a high level, because you know, when we do things over and over, they're meeting our needs at a very high level. And also there's a misalignment, like what we were talking about. My head says this, my heart wants this. So, like, how do we get them, you know, into alignment? So sometimes it can be quite like, you know, um, these are I think of them as like roots, right? So sometimes you're there and you're like, just like, oh, there's a weed, just pull it out, you know. Sometimes that's really hard to pull those suckers out. You know what I mean? Like if we're in a garden, we're just like, wow, that is like a big route to unravel right there, you know. So I think there's things like I can reflect on my own healing journey, things that just are like bleep, that's out. Things where it's just like, wow, we keep, are we back here again? Like, I thought we did this already. And it's just like another iteration, another level of let's get back to that limiting. I like to call I say limiting BS, which is limiting belief system. However, I've also really liked protective beliefs because a lot of these limiting beliefs, they're really just rooted in our develop early developmental stages of childhood, you know, from birth until like adolescence or so, you know. So more limiting beliefs can certainly pop up in young middle, you know, and older adulthood. There's a lot happening. Your garden is really growing during those developmental stages. And so those beliefs were actually very protective for you. And that's where we get to honor. That's part of the integration, is like, wow, thank you for protecting me. Like you kept me safe. And you probably also helped me be loved, right? Because we learn, you know, we come into this world like open and receptive, you know, and then we start like feeling things, we're sentient beings, like you don't need a language to feel like there's arguments happening in the household and feel unsafe, you know. So there's just a lot of unprocessed that gets to be processed as much as much as we can, you know. I feel like it's a lifelong, beautiful journey of integration.

SPEAKER_03: 37:16

I think so too. I that's when you said that space, that was why driving for me cross-country was healing. And it was more than because my father and my late husband were drivers. I that that was the reason I attributed to it. I did I didn't recognize that connection until you said that that was my way of creating the space. That was the intuition I needed, and I got a lot of flack for that. Um people thought that I oh, this is people thought that I abandoned my children, that I was being selfish, and maybe I was in a way, but my kids are highly independent. Like, and my it was during COVID when I started driving. So my mother was like, I need a safe space. And she came and she was there with the kids for that time. And I but I realized now honestly that that space was created for me on those long cross-country drives. I California to Florida and everything in between, um, because I could hear myself and I allowed other healing voices um to come in and minute minister to my spirit that was so broken. Yeah. In those years, because I lost so much in in such a short amount of time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Thank you for for bringing that together for me. Yeah, I I didn't realize that. I thought I was just clinging to their memory. And it was so much more. That might have been the first why. Uh, but I think that the universal second why was I needed the space to hear. And when it was time to come off the truck, I off the truck. And then it was this new thing that started the podcasting. And I was able to, like you said, I oh, podcasting, and what is that? And I did the research into podcasting, and then I found a host, and you know, and all of these different things, and even the podcast continues to evolve and grow and contribute as I continue to evolve and grow, and contribute not only to the well-being and mindset of others, but to my own um self.

SPEAKER_01: 39:43

I also like to speak to your children because I do love children and it is part of my mission. My, we like to say my hallucination is your children have benefited greatly from that time from you on the truck.

SPEAKER_03: 40:02

Don't make me cry.

SPEAKER_01: 40:06

Oh, so often, and this is part of integrating like the selfish part of us, right? Because that's like when I started, right? I talked about yesterday, I had a lot of self-loathing. Woo, lots. Just like, am I selfish for pursuing this dream? Am I selfish for spending this time, effort, energy, and money? Am I selfish for just not settling and just doing the normal thing? And my coach, because Lord knows I have more than one coach, is reflecting back to me, you know, the benefit that that's brought my children. Wow, they see a woman, they have grown and seen a woman who is willing to lead her life with love to not settle, to really continue to grow and evolve as God wants her to grow and evolve and continue to sculpt her soul. There's joyful moments, there's painful moments, and all along the way, it's like to me, we through us doing this inner work and growing and turning around and giving that to others, our children are literally witnessing what's possible for them.

SPEAKER_03: 41:38

I bring tissue, girl.

SPEAKER_01: 41:44

Yeah, I see you. I see you, I am you. Thank you. Thank you.