4 Toxic Things You Must Cut Off to Move From Disaster to Destiny

Ever found yourself stuck in that painful middle ground between trauma and healing? You're not alone. Our natural instinct after devastation is to leap toward normalcy, but what if that messy middle is exactly where transformation happens?

This episode dives deep into the courage required to stand in your middle space—that uncomfortable terrain where grief meets growth. For single mothers especially, the pressure to "have it all together" while juggling financial stress, parenting, and personal healing can feel overwhelming. Yet rushing past this process robs us of the profound understanding that only comes when we get close enough to feel the weight of our experiences.

We explore the concept of eliminating JUNK (Justified distractions, Unfulfilling relationships, Negative self-talk, and Know-nothing chaos creators) to quiet the noise that drowns out divine guidance. When we clear away what clutters our lives and minds, we finally hear the still, small voice offering direction.

Ready to transform your waiting period into a powerful space of growth? This episode offers practical wisdom for anyone tired of asking "how long?" without preparing to hear the answer. Join me as we discover that real healing doesn't come from escaping the mess—it comes from standing in it with purpose. Listen now and take one degree forward in your journey from survival to victory.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to the Middle Space
• 2:46 Wrestling with "How Long, Oh God?"
• 4:26 Getting Rid of the JUNK
• 5:58 Parallel Paths of Spiritual Fasting
• 8:36 Breaking Down JUNK Components
• 9:14 Clearing Space to Hear God

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You're listening to One Degree to Victory, the space where stories, strategies and soul connect Together. We take one small step each week toward the life you know you're called to live. I'm your hostess, nalita Hollis, and today's story and conversation just might change your life, your life. I think often about how we want to jump straight from hurt to healing, from disaster to destiny. We jump from one relationship to another, one job to another, one church to another. After trauma, it's natural to want things to be better, to have a sense of belonging and confidence, to have a home. I've prayed for it, I've wrestled with the idea of the best way to do it, I've cried over and over and over and over that it didn't happen. And then weeks went by, and then months and then years, and I realized I'm going to have to live here a while. I'm going to have to be in this middle space wrestling with grief and growth. Sister girl, you won't begin to comprehend who you're becoming fully, you won't discover your strength, experience transformation, be set free or develop deeper faith until you're willing to stand in the middle of the mess. My God, understanding is what happens when you get close enough to feel the weight of a thing, the heat of the fire, you get close enough to learn what survival feels like in your own bones.

Speaker 1: 1:45

Some of us are living with chronic adversity, long-term pain or the shadows of a trauma that won't let go, and so we regularly start our days with this morning prayer how long, oh God? As single mamas, we want so many things the better job, the better home environment to be able to provide for our kids. We want to be able to have an income where we don't have to juggle bills. We may want a car, a fulfilling relationship, and if we're a single mama, having gone through a dark night of the soul as a result of trauma, we want everything to return to as close as normal as possible. We want to not have to deal with the messiness, and so we pray, we ask, we lament how long, oh God? And while we're waiting for his answer, the question becomes how do we wait and when?

Speaker 1: 2:46

In the middle of the messiness, I learned you have to get rid of the junk. Junk stands for justified distractions, unfulfilling relationships, negative self-talk and know-nothing chaos creators and know-nothing chaos creators. Beyond the chaos of everyday life, these are toxic elements we consume, sometimes knowingly, often unknowingly, that seep into our mental, emotional and spiritual spaces. They clog our minds, drain our energy and wreak havoc on the parts of us that need to stay whole.

Speaker 1: 3:25

After the lifequake hit, I found myself battling debilitating migraines for months, but I didn't have the luxury of laying in bed, curtains closed, shrouded in darkness. At the time, I was running loads, so deadlines mattered. Missing one could push everything back for days, and in trucking, time is money. So at 4 am, when that alarm went off, I'd start my day with two Excedrin migraine formula just to function. I was carrying more than freight. I was hauling the weight of worry for my kids, wrestling grief that wouldn't let go and fighting off thoughts that tried to tell me I was stuck, broken or beaten. And through it all, I still had to keep the truck safe, the load intact and my mind sharp on the highway, sister girl, somewhere in the middle of all that pain, I turned inward, toward God.

Speaker 1: 4:25

Now, this might sound controversial what I'm going to say, but here's what I realized there isn't much difference between spiritual fasting and physical fasting when you strip them down to their essence. I'm not talking about trendy fasting for quick fixes. I'm talking about fasting with intention, fasting because you need clarity, fasting because you're suffocating, and what I found out is that fasting is about listening. Spiritual fasting and physical fasting run on parallel tracks, but they teach you different things. Physical fasting teaches you to listen to your body. It makes you aware of how much energy you spend on constant consumption, on running at full speed, on never letting your system rest. When you stop eating certain things, or stop eating altogether, your body starts to heal, reset and release what it's been holding on to. Spiritual fasting, though, teaches you to listen to God. It quiets the soul. It carves out space where anxiety and distraction used to live, so you can actually hear him speak. It's less about what leaves your plate and more about what enters your heart Peace, wisdom, direction and in the middle of my own fast, I realized both were happening at once. My body was being restored, even as my spirit was being renewed. The migraine subsided absolutely, but so did the heavy fog of confusion and fear. When you listen to your body, you gain health. When you listen to God, you gain perspective, and when both come together, sister girl, healing begins inside and out.

Speaker 1: 6:15

When you pay attention to what you're consuming, what you're putting into your body and what you're doing, with time you'll start to notice what's good for you and what's not. That's where eliminating junk becomes important, starting with the J justified distractions. Those are the quick emotional hits we convince ourselves we need because we've been through so much and we deserve a break. Social media scrolling, binge watching and other mind-numbing activities disguised as fulfilling breaks aren't. They're escape routes and avoidance tactics. It is the mantra that keeps us from facing what needs to be faced. Fasting from you unfulfilling relationships. Not every person walking with you is meant to go the distance. Some connections drain more than they sustain. When someone consistently leaves you feeling depleted, confused or questioning your worth, it's time to question that relationship.

Speaker 1: 7:20

Letting go of negative self-talk this is the internal dialogue that reminds you of past mistakes and all you don't have. Negative self-talk keeps you anchored to your present. It's a human mechanism designed to keep you safe from the unknown and familiar and unfamiliar. The future is only unknown and unfamiliar, sister girl, because you haven't been there yet. Stop letting negative self-talk keep you from your newness of life. And finally, fast from the K. Know nothing.

Speaker 1: 7:57

Chaos creators. These people thrive in disorder. They talk about others, have opinions about everyone else's lives except their own. They create and gravitate toward conflict and confusion, constant listener, turn this noise off immediately, immediately. And so, sister girl, when we cry out how long, oh God, let's make sure we're prepared to hear him.

Speaker 1: 8:28

The justified distractions, the unfulfilling relationships, the negative self-talk, the know-nothing, chaos creators, they all turn up the volume on fear, on confusion and on pain. When you eliminate the junk, when you fast from the things that numb instead of heal, when you quiet the noise in your head and the chaos around you, that's when his direction gets clear. So how long, oh God? Long enough for us to clear the space, silence the chaos and listen. Long enough for us to stop running and start resting. Long enough for us to hear his voice and believe that, even here in the mess, in the waiting, he's already at work.

Speaker 1: 9:16

Beautiful soul, constant listener. Sister girl, let me remind you you've got this Go ahead and keep living, keep growing, keep asking questions, but as you grow, as you ask the questions, remember to make room for the growth and to hear his response. I'll see you next time. I love y'all. One degree to victory is about progression, not perfection, and that involves choosing a life that works for you now, in this season, and building from there. And, sister girl, it's going to take more than loving yourself. It's going to take vision for where you're going, hope to believe it's possible, action to make it real and love for your family to fuel every step. Take one degree forward this week and I'll see you in the next episode.